Now And Then
by ficklefrog
Summary: Quinn looks back and tells the story of how Brittany and Santana met back in third grade, how they became friends and more than friends. Slightly AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story completely ignores the Lucy Caboosey story-line.

We grew up together, Santana Lopez and I. We met on the first day of elementary school. She was kind of skinny, wore her hair in braids and the fire in her brown eyes was already lit. I didn't like her at first. She was too pushy and she often got into fights with the other kids. She would mainly play with the boys, running around in the school yard, they were chasing after each other, or a ball or squealing girls.

I was a quiet child. Books were my best friends from the day I started to piece the letters together, cracking the code and gaining entry to the world of literacy. From an early age I always kept a book in my bag. I still do.

For some reason Santana seemed to like me. She would often come and sit next to me when she wanted a more quiet moment. We'd talk and sometimes she would nag me to do something but mostly we would share a companionable silence. Often at lunch, we would just sit there contently and eat our food. Then she'd run off again, like she had just needed a moment to recharge. She never invited me to join in their games. Maybe she knew I wouldn't have liked to but wouldn't be able to refuse the offer anyway.

We invited each other to our birthday parties and such but almost never played at each other's houses after school or at weekends. We were probably too different and we both knew that we'd bore the other eventually during the course of an afternoon. But we still shared an ever growing friendship.

In third grade there was a new addition to our class. A tall lanky girl with long blond hair. She wore unusual outfit combinations and she'd say the strangest things at times. But Santana was taken aback from day one. I would catch her secretly looking at the girl at school. In class she'd throw quick glances in the girl's direction every so often. Sometimes she'd outright stare, thinking no one saw her. But I did.

I asked her about it one day.

"Can't you see how pretty she is?" Santana answered simply. There was the slightest bit of annoyance in her voice.

The girl's name was Brittany. Yes, she was pretty I supposed. Her hair was golden, not unlike mine. She had unusually blue eyes that would sometimes get a really dreamy look, imposing an impression of an otherworldly being. To me, Brittany quite often seemed a little awkward. But I wasn't about to tell Santana what I thought.

Despite the slight awkwardness Brittany seemed to like most people. She was cheerful and friendly. She seemed totally oblivious to the hierarchies and unwritten social rules of the elementary school setting. She'd plonk herself down next to anyone at lunch and strike up a conversation or partner up with even the most unpopular kids for school projects. Something that would normally mean dragging your own social status in the mud. Something I would never do.

But however strange she was, Santana was drawn to her like a fly to a sugar cube. On the occasions she found Brittany watching her, she'd blush profusely or do really silly things to impress the tall girl. At one time she was running across the schoolyard she caught sight of Brittany looking at her. She completely missed a rock on the ground in front of her and I watched her take a spectacular dive on the rough asphalt. Brittany yelped and rushed up to her to see if she was hurt. Santana had scraped the palm of her hand and her left knee was bleeding from an abrasion. With a concerned look on her face, Brittany bent down and leaned over Santana with her hands on the tiny Latina's leg. I think Santana's knee hurt but it didn't stop a huge smile from spreading across her face.

Brittany wasn't a stupid kid but calculus didn't come easy to her. It did to Santana though. I had asked her about that too, how she could be so good at maths.

"I don't know", she said. "It's like I can just see the answers in my head."

And so one day she shyly offered to help Brittany with her homework. I could tell she had thought long and hard about it before she asked and I dare say her face was strawberry coloured when she stuttered out the question.

"Um. Eh. Hey Britts. I was wondering if... Erm. If you want, I could help you with your maths homework because… Erm... I like, I thought, I was thinking... That you might like some help and I…"

Her voice trailed off as she looked up and saw Brittany's face lit up with delight. I watched Santana's face grow an even deeper shade of red as Brittany enthusiastically accepted the offer.

They gradually spent more and more time together. Santana was a tough kid but with Brittany she turned softer. Brittany was the only one who could cool her hot temper. As small as Santana was in stature, she had a hell of a bark. And occasionally bite too. Brittany made Santana laugh, goof around and be as carefree as a little girl her age always ought to be.

Middle school drew to an end and we enrolled at McKinley High School. My high school years held some of the best and worst times of my life. I guess I share that with a lot of people.

As we grew older the three of us spent more time together out of school. Santana would come up with crazy ideas for what we should do. Brittany would usually get caught up in Santana's enthusiasm and my job was to prevent us from doing stuff that would actually get us killed or arrested.

Santana would coax me.

"Oh come on Q. You know you want to…" and she'd smile mischievously at me. It was hard to say no to Santana Lopez. I imagine it still is.

One night when we were fourteen we had a slumber party in Santana's house. Her parents were way for the weekend and we had the place to ourselves. Dr. and Mrs. Lopez regularly left Santana home alone and me or Brittany, or both, would usually stay over with her. We'd call for pizza and watch a movie or play music really loudly on the stereo and dance in the huge living room. Brittany was a really good dancer even back then. She had taken dance classes since she was six but no amount of dance lessons would have let her move like she did if she hadn't had a good amount of natural talent. Her movements were fluid and always in perfect time with the music. Our dance sessions would often end with me and Santana sitting on the floor watching Brittany shake loose. It was awesome. Santana was always mesmerised and I watched her pupils dilate as she took in the image of the dancing girl. She couldn't get enough.

Santana had once told me she wanted to kiss Brittany.

"Just to see what it's like. I'm a curious person." She shrugged. She tried to make it sound like just another one of her crazy ideas but it wasn't. We both knew that. She was just trying to make up excuses.

"Are you shocked?" She looked at me intently.

"Maybe a little", I replied lamely. She looked pleased.

Of course I wasn't but I didn't want to steal her thunder or freak her out by divulging I'd always known. Frankly I was surprised they hadn't already kissed.

Anyway, on this particular night in question, Santana had decided it was time for us to start drinking. That's what she told us. She reasoned everyone would be drinking at parties soon and we'd better not look inexperienced, come that day.

We raided her parents' liquor cabinet and poured out a small amount from each bottle into a jug. In the end the jug was more than half full of brownish liquid. It smelled awful and tasted worse…

I am embarrassed to say I don't really remember everything that happened that night. I can recall that we were dancing like idiots, singing gleefully along with whatever played on the stereo until we were hoarse as crows. Smoking the cigarettes we found in a kitchen cupboard probably didn't help either. I remember at one point we were lying in a pile on the floor laughing so hard tears were streaming down our faces and our bellies hurt. But the one thing I remember the most from that night was waking up in an oversized armchair in the dark living room. My head was still spinning from the alcohol and my body was aching from the uncomfortable position. As I was trying to remember where I was I caught the sound of quiet whispers and soft moans from the couch. I couldn't see them clearly but I understood they were kissing. Santana was lying on her side with her back to me and I could see Brittany's arm wrapped around her.

I felt deeply embarrassed. Not because I thought they were doing anything wrong but because I felt like an intruder. I felt my presence was defiling something beautiful. I was never meant to witness what they shared that night in the dark. I tried really hard to go back to sleep. It took a while. Don't ask.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. **

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	2. Chapter 2

High school was a jungle. Eat or be eaten. So we ate, Santana and l. We climbed the social ladder not caring too much about who or what we used as tiers. Together with Brittany we made the cheerleading team. Brittany liked it but didn't much care about what she could accomplish by being a Cheerio. Santana and I worked it for all it was worth.

Blessing or curse, we grew up pretty. Santana's fantastic facial structure topped by those dark smouldering eyes, a perfect body and shiny black hair, made most of the boys overly eager to impress her enough to get a date. Rumour also had it that she put out. She did sometimes but not half as often as her reputation implied. The boys she denied access were too embarrassed to say so at school anyway and would tell tales of what a hot little number my Latina friend was. It didn't seem to bother her in the least. On the contrary she seemed to revel in the notion of being desirable. Me, I was Santana's opposite and had a cold-bitch reputation. They wanted her because they had heard that others got to go all the way. Me they wanted because they'd heard no one had gotten to go all the way and they wanted to be first to conquer the ice-queen. That of course changed when I got pregnant. I don't know how I would have gotten through that ordeal without my friends. Giving up my child was the hardest and maybe the worst decision I've ever made. But that's another story.

Santana and Brittany had moved their relationship to the next stage even if they weren't exclusive and didn't think of it as a romantic relationship. They were almost inseparable in and out of school, always walking around linking pinkies and giving each other cute little presents. They reckoned they were best friends with benefits. But I would have had to be both blind and stupid not to know what it really was. Fortunately I'm neither. The last one to catch on was Santana and when she did, all hell broke loose.

Brittany knew. But being Brittany she mainly took it in her stride. Her mistake was calling Santana on it too early. I watched Santana panic. She lashed out randomly at people at school. She got under every boy she could find and she partied like there was no tomorrow. It all cumulated when Brittany finally got tired of waiting for Santana and found a boyfriend to go out with. Santana even challenged me at school. I'll admit, sometimes she got to me.

Eventually she decided to spell it out to Brittany, how she felt. She was hoping her feelings and her honesty about them would sway Brittany to be in an exclusive relationship with her. To her surprise and great disappointment Brittany turned her down. She claimed she couldn't leave her boyfriend just like that.

Another problem was that Santana didn't want anyone to know about them. Brittany however being the most honest person in the world was not prepared to go along with the secrecy.

That day I found Santana on my doorstep crying. Her mascara had made tracks down her face and her eyes were puffy and red. She'd waited for me for two hours. I ushered her inside and into the kitchen and made her coffee.

"I know", I said quietly, stirring the hot beverage in my cup.

"How?" she croaked.

"I've always known." I shrugged. I had always known. Ever since I gained an understanding of love, I knew that Santana loved Brittany. She had loved her since that first day in third grade.

I held my friend as she cried. I tried to find encouraging things to say but we both knew there were no short cuts. I had never seen her so distraught. And I wished I could tell her the world was an understanding place. I wished so much that I could have told her that no one would be small minded enough to mock or belittle the most beautiful parts of her person. Instead all I could do was to act as her arms bearer and help her prepare for battles that would inevitably occur. But it's hard to be a terrified sixteen year old having to face the pettiness, the ugliness and hatred in the world. I'll give her that. She cried for her Brittany and she cried for herself. She cried out of heartache and a fear that was ripping her apart. She second guessed herself for loving. That still makes my blood boil thinking about it. My beautiful, beautiful Santana.

I watched them struggle on. It was sad to see them cast longing glances at each other when the other wasn't looking. Santana couldn't hide the pain in her face when she saw Brittany together with her boyfriend. If possible, she'd leave when that happened. I know it made Brittany sad. The irony of it all was that Santana always felt she was Brittany's second choice since Brittany chose to be with Artie but in reality that was never the case. Brittany had settled for second best since she couldn't have what she really wanted. She just tried to make the best of it.

Brittany was a lot smarter than most people gave her credit for. The girl had integrity. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to stand her ground. When she and Artie eventually broke up Santana was delighted but there was still the problem of secrecy. Brittany wanted her but she just wasn't willing to be Santana's dirty little secret. Those were the rules she laid down. They'd be an official couple or not at all. Brittany was disgusted and hurt when Santana even staged a fake relationship with a gay boy just to keep up appearances. It made me a little queasy too but I was too busy running for prom-queen to pay much attention to anything else at that time. Santana had such good intentions and she wanted Brittany so badly but courage failed her again and again. She had always been so good at hiding behind her bitch-facade but this time accomplishing what she wanted meant she had to expose parts of her person that she never wanted to put on display. Brittany on the other hand kept providing openings for Santana to take the plunge and come out. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

I'll never forget the look on her face that time when we all had to print t-shirts exposing something about ourselves we had a hard time coming to terms with, in big black letters across our chests. Brittany gave Santana a t-shirt that said 'Lebanese'. It would have been hilarious if it wasn't for the civil war it fuelled inside Santana.

"Clearly you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this t-shirt on and you'd dance with me", Brittany had declared when Santana hesitated to put the t-shirt on, and she stormed off. She couldn't have been any clearer. I think that is the only time I've known Brittany to completely lose patience with Santana.

Eventually Santana did wear the t-shirt but she didn't get up on stage with the rest of us in the glee club. She just sat there in the auditorium next to her gay-beard boyfriend, looking so thoroughly miserable. Still, putting the t-shirt on at all was a step in the right direction. She wanted so badly to be braver than she was. She had so much to win but she still thought she had more to lose. I tried to talk to her about it later that day but she didn't want to discuss it. I think she was too ashamed of herself.

Then New York was next. Our glee club had qualified for nationals and we were all going to the Big Apple to compete. I remember I was pining over Finn Hudson who had just dumped me. Few things can hit harder than teenage love. I blamed myself. I shouldn't have cheated on him the first time we were together. I think he never really trusted me again after that. Especially since I let him go months thinking he was the father of my unborn child. I know that was cruel but I was desperate. I wasn't in love with Puck and I thought he had nothing to offer me or the baby. It turned out he was the more mature parent out of the two of us. He was prepared to become a father. I think he would have loved to keep the baby but he was too young and insecure to argue against all the overwhelming reasons as to why it would be better to put Beth up for adoption. Me, I'll never forgive myself for what I did but that's something I'll have to learn to live with.

From day one I think all of us fell in love with New York. In the big city we saw how our dreams could come true. For some, the dream was to win Nationals and return triumphantly to school. To others, this was where they saw their whole future filled with opportunities and careers. To some the city held a promise of living a life without shame or hiding.

Oh gawd there was also that really embarrassing moment when I was crying over Finn, Brittany and Santana tried to cheer me up and I thought they were proposing a threesome. I still cringe today thinking about it and let me tell you, they are never going to let me live that one down.

We came in twelfth at the competition. Of course we were sorely disappointed but thinking about it now, being the twelfth best show choir in the country isn't too damn bad now, is it?

Shortly after we returned from New York the school year ended. It had been an exhausting year and I think many of us were grateful to get a break from each other. Sure, we hung out with our friends but we weren't forced together in those cramped school corridors.

Santana and Brittany were still working on their relationship. It had put on some kind of _just-friends-disguise_ that enabled them to hang out together. I guess they needed time. Especially Santana.

In fact, it took them years to work it all out. They both went to New York to study after high school. Brittany studied dance and Santana went to medical school. By then I had already left America to study law in Cambridge, England. I still live in the UK and work as a solicitor in London.

They dated on and off until they finally settled down together in a small dingy apartment in Brooklyn. That's where they in earnest started a grown up relationship with dinner parties, laundry day and all that. They probably have the happiest marriage out all the people I know. Oh, yeah, they got married as soon as Santana graduated. Rachel sang at the wedding and I was Santana's bride's maid. Tina was Brittany's. They had arranged for a small service on a roof top in Manhattan and the party was held in the same building. Most of our old friends from the glee club attended, members of both the Pierce and Lopez families of course and some of their new friends from New York. Brittany and Santana both looked radiant and there wasn't a dry eye when they exchanged their vows. "…with my body I thee worship, with my heart I thee cherish..." They had chosen to use the old fashioned English marriage vows. I nearly tear up thinking about their wedding. I can see them twirling across the dance floor and the way Santana looked at Brittany with so much love and pride showing on her face. I was so happy for them!

When I first moved out here I talked to them on the phone all the time but as the years have gone by, our contact has become a little less frequent. To my shame I haven't been to see them in LA where they live now. Last time we met was at a high school reunion in Lima two years ago.

Almost a year ago the phone rang a little after midnight. I remember I was already asleep. As soon as I picked up I heard an overly excited voice almost yelling

"Guess what Q!" Startled I sat up.

"Santana! Do you know what time it is here in England?"

"She's pregnant! We're going to have a baby!" It took me a moment to process the information.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Was all I could manage to say but I felt my face cracking up with a huge grin.

"She's twelve weeks pregnant but she made me promise not to tell anyone until now. I've been bursting to tell you! We're going to have a baby! Can you believe it? You're going to have a little godchild Q." She laughed happily.

"I am?" I was still not quite awake and this was a lot to take in.

"Of course you are. I just emailed you a picture of the ultra sound so you know what he looks like. Well, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet but I think we're having a boy. He's due in September so make plans to come see us then."

We talked for another few minutes before hanging up. It was hard to go back to sleep afterwards.

They e-mailed me pictures of Brittany's growing belly every week. Santana tried to be all professional and not worry too much if Brittany got tired or had a light cold but she couldn't help fussing over her wife. I think Brittany is going to be a really cool mom and Santana is probably going to be completely neurotic. Well at least for the first few years. I can see her being a cool mom when he's a teenager though.

Three weeks ago I received a short text message. I was in court sitting next to my client when my phone buzzed. Awkwardly I fished it out of my purse. "He's here! 7lb 5oz. 8:17 this morning. We're all fine. Love ya!" and there was a picture of a small red face with piercing blue eyes. My godson!

Listen, my intention was to make a long story short but I see it didn't quite turn out that way. I won't keep you much longer and I have to go myself. I have a flight to catch. Today I'm heading for Paddington Station in a little while to travel on to Heathrow and fly out towards LAX. I can't wait to see all three of them!

The end

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews appreciated!**


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